How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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