I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
