her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
