It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We are all done wearing pants today
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
