You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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