I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize