You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i drank out of a bidet.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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