i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
