hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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