But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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