WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
