sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
