i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
