Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
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He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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