took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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