i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
