Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
