Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
