yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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