does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who put my cat in the fridge?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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