Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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