I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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