get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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