There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I believe in your delicious
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
we're so committed to being not committed
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
