So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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