If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize