i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
