yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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