he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't think brook has ever known best
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
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She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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