She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
