Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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