I want to walk on stilts...naked
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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