i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why is there bacon in the couch?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
