Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
