some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
