Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
