New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
did i just pee glitter
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
