Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
