the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
