is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
