you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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