i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
