Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
