i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize