Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
In America we eat man semen.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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