I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
