"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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