I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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