Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
