Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
