I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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