My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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