I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
