zippers are such a cool invention
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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