I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
