My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
