Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
