yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize