Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
