But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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