Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
